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So I'm watching this television show on the Discovery channel called 'It takes a thief' that is basically televised rape. These ex-thieves break into someone's house while they watch on a closed circuit monitor. And you watch them, all voyeuristic, as some stranger touches all their private stuff. Then, like a bad Lifetime made-for-TV-movie, they confront the thieves and retrieve their stolen property. Followed quickly by a full security upgrade and another rape attempt.

Brilliant. Now if we could just find a way to hook this show up with Dateline's 'To Catch A Predator' we would have the perfect reality show. A camera would bust in on some poor fellow, masturbating to security footage of a residential burglary, with some prick in a suit asking difficult and awkward questions like 'When did you first know you were a piece of utter shit?' on national television.

Thanks to realism on TV, I know how to hotwire a car, build an EMP bomb, and perform intergalactic oral. What's next, simulated justice? A television show where they catch people doing illegal shit and let them off easy if they sign over the right to use their face on TV? Oh wait, that's 'Cops', the longest running reality show, on television!

I knew there was nothing good on TV. Machine is bored with it as well. So I guess we'll return to more productive ventures.